If OCD, then Faith

Although I did cry this afternoon, I overall had a good evening. I cried because I was tired of OCD.  I remember the days when I would do something nice for someone and then I would feel good because of it.  Now if I do something nice for someone, I might have a disruptive thought at the same time, stealing that joy.  I miss those days. 

Even such, this afternoon with my kids was wonderful.  I set up the like hammock swing under the table and both kids played in...

Today has been mostly good, thank the Lord.  There were about two to three moments in which OCD was present, so it definately has been worse.  

I am with my daughter alone right in front of me, and I am not scared, blessedly.  We are just hanging out together, mom and daughter.  I love her so much.  

B. went swimming today and she is doing so well.  J, went swimming too, but he hit me and bit me.  He then laughs afterward.  I don't know what...

I am happy for myself.  I could of doubted and worried and the Lord helped me be strong, and I knew exactly what I wanted for myself and my kids without doubt. What I know for sure is that I want to take care of my children and love them their whole life.

It is truth.  So my husband has left and I had to put on my big girl underroos. Both kids are safe in bed, and I am watching tv on the couch.  I experience a myriad of emotions today.  But, right now I feel love fr...

So today was a better day togay then yesterday, meaning the OCD thoughts were not as difficult.  I am so thankful for that.  One really awesome thing that happenned today is I felt love of my patients. I needed it because yesterday I had to fight to even think about love.  Then this afternoon I felt wonderful love of my kiddos.  I love that! It makes my heart happy.  I am so very thankful for this! 

I am a little worried about next Monday night and Tuesday....

Right now I am feeling sad probably because of some OCD thoughts.  I am just trying to get through this moment without losing my cool.  

It was difficult this evening when taking care of my children.  I don't know why.  I do have faith that it will bring me closer to Jesus.  When I wanted to love my children, the thought came "don't love your children," and other such nonsense thoughts.  Sometimes what works is: "I can do all things through Christ who stren...

Yay! Today was so good.  My OCD was minimal today!  I can't believe it, I am so happy!  So blessed! At work, it was ok.  But when I got to the house, it was all good! Probably the best day I have had in two years, in regards to my OCD.  This is definately from the Lord, because I haven't changed much in coping skills.  So wonderful! 

I did learn two new Bible verses: 1) When my anxiety is great, your consolation brought me joy. ...

I did well at work today with dealing with my OCD because of my wonderful Heavenly Father.  He gave me love and grace today when I thought I was about to have a disruptive thought.  Blessedly, I didn't have one and had love.  I so appreciated that! It was wonderful and lovely. My Lord is so wonderful!

However, things were harder at the house.  I had fear that someone was behind me when there was no one there.  I had more harm thoughts about my children, which o...

I have been taking my thoughts captive to Jesus or at least trying today.  I had less triggers today, so my harm OCD wasn't as bad, although I wasn't exposing myself either.

I read Joyce Meyer's "Battlefied of the Mind," and I liked it.  I certainly have done some of the widerness attitudes, like feeling sorry for myself, and doubting and worrying.  I hope I can come out of this disease and be cured.I know the Lord is using it to refine me and my faith.

I talked to...

Errgh the If then statements....annoying.

If you believe this, the opposite will happen.  Apparently, that is thought action fusion.  I don't know what it is, but I don't like it.  

Today, I had doubting thoughts of who I am.  I am a righteous child of God, I know this, but I still had doubting thoughts.  What worked was "Let it go.  You can trust God." Just let it go.

I also had moments of peace today, from the Holy Spirit.  I treasure tho...

OCD and anxiety filled my head today while I was going grocery shopping.  I don't know exactly the thoughts I was having, but I do know I felt anxious.  All I could do was go with the storm and let it pass.  

Many of my thoughts are if this then this thoughts.  For example, if you write your bad thoughts down then they will come true; which makes having a blog difficult. My therapist would say this is good exposure for me.  

I am grateful for Jesus during ...